Maria “Rosie” Saldaña Zamarripa. (Photo by Danny Fulgencio)
Grief is normally a private emotion, experienced in quiet, solemn moments, surrounded by the closest friends and family. When your grief is shared with the entire world, and you are turning down meetings with President Barack Obama because you need time to yourself, you enter a level that few have experienced.
Maria “Rosie” Saldaña Zamarripa, Woodrow Wilson graduate and stepmother of Officer Patricio “Patrick” Zamarripa, knows all too well the joy and frustration of grieving in front of a national audience.
When 14 officers were gunned down in downtown Dallas on July 7 following a Black Lives Matter protest, Patricio was one of the five officers who didn’t make it home. “That next day, we had no time to mourn, there were so many reporters. Never in my life have I experienced anything like that,” says Zamarripa. “I was in shock, and had so many emotions at the time.”
Despite the mixed feelings that came with public grieving, Zamarripa has used her platform for unity in divisive times. While on CNN, she was able to meet the girlfriend of Alton Sterling, the man slain by police in Baton Rouge while he sold music outside of a store. What could have been another chapter in the conflict between blacks and police became a beautiful moment of solidarity. “We held hands in New York City, and were able to comfort each other. We plan on staying in touch, my heart went out to her,” Zamarripa remembers.
Rick Zamarripa, Officer Patricio “Patrick” Zamarripa’s father. (Photo by Danny Fulgencio)
On the topic of violence in retaliation for violence, Zamarripa’s husband, Rick, pleaded on CNN, “This has to stop.”
After growing up as quiet girl in East Dallas, Zamarripa never thought she would be featured on the national news. “My mother was very protective because I was the only girl, so I only went to a couple of football games, and didn’t go out much” she says. “We are quiet people.”
Following the shooting, reporters came from near and far to camp out in front of the Zamarripas’ house in Saginaw, but the attention was not always desired. Dealing with grief and loss in front of cameras created a strange cocktail of gratitude and frustration for the family. “At one point we had to put a sign on the door to keep the reporters away,” she says.
Zamarripa says meeting President Obama was always a dream of hers, but when the commander in chief came to meet the families of the fallen, the day was cloaked in anxiety. “When we went to meet him, we were so nervous. We went through some back doors, and none of us knew where we were going. We were escorted the whole time.”
It was a surreal moment, feeling the anguish of loss in the company of the most powerful couple in America. “He was just really friendly, he hugged us and expressed condolences to us. He was just letting us know he cared, and even played with the kids.” She couldn’t help but notice the First Lady as well, ”I just told her how tall and beautiful she was; they are both so tall!” Zamarripa, who is 4’11”, is able to chuckle to herself about these memories.
The President’s speech that soon followed in Dallas, which Zamarripa attended, is a bit foggy looking back. “I was in so much shock about the whole thing, I don’t really remember much about it. I was still in disbelief about the whole thing.” She does remember being moved by the five reserved chairs each with the peaked cap of a police officer for each of the slain, accompanied by their picture. “It was all so touching, such an amazing experience,” she says.
She admitted that there are some media outlets to which she cannot say no. “But we also felt so much gratitude for everyone, how do you thank so many people? It made us feel good to put his name out there and celebrate his life.”
Zamarripa’s East Dallas roots burned bright in the dark times.
“Seeing all the Facebook comments and the memorial at Woodrow made me proud to be a Wildcat,” she says. “When I saw the comments mentioning Rosie, I knew they remembered me by my nickname in high school. It showed that they were talking about me, and that they cared about me.”
Losing her stepson, who had been on the force for more than five years after serving three tours in Iraq with the Navy, has helped Zamarripa realize how much he meant to the community in which he worked. “He never talked about the work he did when he came to see us. When we heard people’s stories, we were like, ‘Patrick did that?’ He was always just a family man to us, he was just Patrick around here.”
In the time since Patrick’s passing, hundreds of people have reached out to the family, attended his funeral and demonstrated their appreciation for his sacrifice.
“Patrick was so close with his father,” Zamarripa says. “His father was his hero and he was his father’s hero.”
But there has been a silver lining to the family’s public mourning. People have come out of the woodwork to share stories of their son, stories they likely wouldn’t have heard otherwise.
“We never knew that he fed homeless people on the job, or anything like that,” she says.
Of hearing people talk about him on the news and at the funeral, Zamarripa says, “We are in awe. He went out in style. My daughter is going to give her son the middle name of Patricio in his honor. I have a feeling there will be a lot of babies named Patricio this year. So many people will never forget him.”
Memorial service at Thanksgiving Square. (Photo by Danny Fulgencio)
