Keri’s traffic post on our Far North Dallas blog brought more than a smile to my face. It brought a long, thankful, "There but for the grace of God go I" sigh. I finished teaching my wine class at the Cordon Bleu at LBJ and Webbs Chapel last week, and with any luck, I’ll never have to drive in Dallas traffic regularly ever again. Which is a good thing, since we apparently have the fifth-worst traffic in country. (Though it’s hard to believe we’re worse than Houston.)

So — and trying not to be too cranky or Andy Rooney-like — here are the top 10 things I won’t miss about driving regularly in Dallas traffic:

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1. Pickup trucks pulling trailers. It wasn’t so much that they swerve in and out of traffic. It’s that I couldn’t see around them.

2. The High Five. I suppose it’s an improvement over the previous configuration, but that’s like saying a sprained wrist is an improvement over a broken wrist. They both hurt. A lot.

3. Drivers on cell phones. There were days when I felt that I was the only driver on LBJ who wasn’t talking on the phone. Here’s a metaphysical question I often pondered: What could be so important that someone has to discuss it on the phone at the risk of causing a multi-car accident that might kill people and close the freeway?

4. Accidents on LBJ. This was a problem even when I didn’t take LBJ, since Forest Lane is the obvious alternate route and everyone always took the obvious alternate route. During one horrific morning, it took me 45 minutes to get from Central to Preston and LBJ on Forest.

5. Pickup trucks pulling those trailers. Did I mention that I really, really disliked them?

6. Drivers who don’t understand anything about merging — either those who stop on the on-ramp before they get on Central or those who are talking on the phone and don’t see the cars on the on-ramp merging in front of them.

7. The traffic light at Abrams and Northwest Highway, which not only seems to take a day and a half to cycle, but goes through the left-hand turn onto west bound Northwest Highway so quickly that only a couple of cars can get through.

8. Cars traveling at 50 mph in the fast lane and the pickup trucks traveling at 85 mph in the slow lane.

9. Dallas’ pot-holed streets. Anyone who thinks it’s bad down here (and it is) needs to drive on Forest between the toll way and Webbs Chapel. Some of it is as rutted and scarred as a country road.

10. That I actually spent so much time thinking and worrying about driving, when I could have spent it thinking about girls or baseball or wine or what I was going to cook for dinner.