Question: I have been told I need to “pick my battles” with my two-year-old. When he misbehaves, I threaten to punish him, but he almost always continues the behavior. What can I do?
Answer: There are two issues to address in your question. The first is picking which behavioral battles to deal with.
To deal with every misbehavior would take all your time. Guiding a child’s behavior is an important part of parenting, but the other side of disciplining is positive interaction. There needs to be a balance between the two.
My best advice when choosing battles is ignore the misbehaviors you choose not to address.
The second issue is threatening your child. The reason this strategy often fails is simply because your child has figured out you don’t mean what you say.
There is an underlying effect that erodes your relationship when you choose to deal with your child in this way. Your child needs to believe you. He needs to trust that you will carry through with your threat.
This is how he will develop his belief in you and be comforted by you when you tell him: “Everything will be okay.”
Question: My 18-month-old throws food. What should I do?
Answer: Calmly pick up her bowl, and tell her in a gentle voice that she must be through eating. Resist giving her a second chance. This turns the bowl removal into a game.
It only takes a few times of removing her bowl, and enduring a couple of temper tantrums, before she will figure it out.
Remember how smart she is.
