Are you ready for rainbows, East Dallas? Pride Month is upon us, and neighbor JJ – last name withheld by request – is eager to lend her support. In fact, she’s already picked out what she’ll wear to the Pride Parade Downtown on June 6: a “Free Mom Hugs” T-shirt.
JJ, a resident of this part of town for over 30 years, is the mother of three, the foster mom of many a puppy, and a staunch ally of the LGBTQ+ community.
She recently marched with other protesters over the state-mandated removal of rainbow crosswalks in Oak Lawn. She offers love and support to queer family and friends and is signed up with Stand in Pride, a program which connects members of the LGBTQ+ community with allies. And, of course, she wouldn’t miss those wonderful Pride parades.
She looks forward to offering her support at the parade, one of several Pride Month events in Dallas. “I’m attending and wearing the shirt to support my nephew who is gay. Also to support everyone attending and to be an ally to the LGBTQ+ community. Too many children are ostracized by their own parents due to their sexuality.”
Pride Month is an annual celebration of the many contributions made by the LGBTQ+ community to history, society and cultures worldwide and an opportunity to commemorate those lost to HIV/AIDS and homophobic violence.
The seeds of JJ’s acceptance, tolerance and respect for others were sown early. “My father – born in 1935 – was incredibly open-minded and raised us to be kind and engage with people we encounter by looking them in the eye and having a conversation,” she recalls. “He told me at 13 that if I ever brought a friend home that was not willing to do those two things, he wanted me to reconsider the friendship.”
JJ also remembers her dad as “evolved and intelligent,” with a heart for the marginalized. “He was a champion for women and always told me I could do and be anything I wanted. He chose two women as pallbearers for his funeral in 1987, and the priest was furious!” she remembers.
The lessons handed down from her dad remained with JJ as she entered high school. “I was a competitive athlete, and I had teammates throughout high school who were lesbians.” For JJ, who has never identified as LGBTQ+, acceptance of others different from herself came about merely by being with them and getting to know them simply as people. “It was more exposure than thought and continued through college and beyond.”
During her college years at University of North Texas and University of Texas at Dallas, JJ developed close relationships with some in the queer community. “I waited tables with several people who were LGBTQ+ and made fast friends with a hilarious gay man and a lesbian. We stayed in touch.” Through adulthood, she has had dear friends who are bisexual, gay or lesbian.
A few years ago, JJ found herself serving as an ally for a family member. “My nephew came out to me at 17. I told him I loved him and that I have always been proud of him, still am and always will be. I also told him that sexuality is just a portion of the entire person he is, not his complete identity,” she says, adding that she offered him a bit of guidance. “I advised him to ignore heterosexual people who are so focused on what happens between two consenting adults in private. Those people don’t question heterosexuals in the same way.”
In the last few years, JJ has attended local Pride parades, wearing her rainbow “Free Mom Hugs” shirt. “Too many to count,” is how many she says have taken her up on that special hug. “I’ve hugged people from teenagers to a man who was 74.”
Many of the hug recipients expressed to JJ their gratitude to “receive something they have never received from a parent or loved one.” Some told her heartbreaking stories of parents and other family members disowning them when they came out. Some expressed a wish that their family was as accepting. One person said, “I’m pretending you’re my mom, if that’s OK.” Another asked her to stand in at their wedding.
“I’ve heard deeply personal stories about being ostracized, homeless and even suicidal. Most interactions are brief but each one is meaningful,” she sighs.
JJ says her heart breaks hearing some of the stories, but she leaves each event filled with gratitude and happiness.
“The gratitude comes from showing acceptance and love to someone who has not received it from their family. It’s energizing to give a stranger some much-needed love and acknowledgment. The smiles and tears are so touching, but feeling them completely accept your hug is very rewarding. That brief, physical and emotional connection makes my heart full.”
