Forget about the upcoming City Council elections. Forget about the Contract with America. Forget about that football player who apparently tried to turn his ex-wife into Swiss cheese.
We have more important things to worry about – like the fact that there is less than a month to get ready for the seventh annual Lakewood Love Run.
That means that now is the time to finish honing your pet’s competitive edge, to make sure the animal is in peak physical condition. After all, the competition in the pet/owner 5-kilometer and 1 mile events figures to be, well, dog eat dog.
As it should be.
The Love Run is the largest pet/owner competition in the country. Last year, almost 2,000 people competed, and many of them brought their pets. Organizers expect an even bigger turnout for this year’s run, set May 6 at the First Interstate Bank parking lot in Lakewood.
Remember, no one is going to win this race if they spend all of their time sniffing the other animals.
Your pet must be cut and buffed – or at least in good enough shape so that it doesn’t look up at you with those big, pleading eyes halfway through to ask if you really wouldn’t mind carrying it the rest of the way.
“I don’t know if dogs actually like to run 5K,” says Wade Dunn, one of the vets at the Lakewood Animal Clinic. “But I do know they like to be with their owners.”
Especially when the first three finishers get a trophy and an assortment of clothing bearing the Big Dog label. To that end, consider these training tips:
- Pick a gym where appearance isn’t as important as the workout. Dr. Dunn points out that it’s more acceptable to look a little dogged at somewhere such as the Tom Landry Center at Baylor University Medical Center, for instance, than it is at all of those places that advertise on TV using shots of women in tight leotards.
- Get the animal a haircut. World-class sprinters, swimmers and cyclists shave all their hair off before a big race, so why not your pet? At the very least, the animal will look much cuter to the schnauzer up the street.
- Don’t get in your dog’s way. This piece of advice comes from Jay Hall, a Hollywood Heights resident who finished second in the 5K last year with Ellie. “I would have won last year if I hadn’t slowed Ellie down,” he says. “Next time, I know to get one of those retractable leashes with about a quarter-mile lead so the dog can finish way ahead of me.”
- Bulk up on carbos. I once saw a swimmer eat a stack of pancakes, several pieces of toast, a heaping bowl of cereal, and a side of hash browns the morning of the Big 10 swimming meet. Does Science Diet make a food that does the same thing?
- Finally, if all of this still isn’t enough, keep in mind it’s probably not too late to see if Jane Fonda makes a video for pets.
