This is the time of year when most of us spend a little more time focusing on others. We buy presents and bake cakes, maybe even travel hundreds or thousands of miles, ostensibly to help make other people happy – no matter about ourselves.
Tradition often is the watchword, with get-togethers of friends and family dominating the day. And given the general message of the holidays, it makes perfect sense to spend a little extra time contemplating love and kindness and all of that.
It just seems that for all of the hullabaloo about the holidays, an awful lot of people seem to feel as if their lives are out-of-control during what is considered to be the best time of the year.
We had a discussion in our Sunday School class recently about how to start a tradition. The particular task at hand was to initiate what our pastor calls a “roving supper,” with different elements of a meal served at different church members’ homes.
The problem occurred when we were trying to schedule such an event between Thanksgiving and the New Year: Family after family planned to be out of town or already busy on one weekend after another.
A sense of frustration was beginning to filter into the conversation when one person probably spoke for all of us: “If it doesn’t conflict with something I’m already doing, I’m all for it.”
To me, that’s an interesting and very true statement, particularly during the holidays.
So many of us have so much to do, it’s very difficult to squeeze in another event – regardless of how much we may want to do so.
Many of us are “tradition-bound,” so to speak, and we don’t even have to work at it to over-book our time.
Family outings. Work parties. Spousal work parties. Church events. School programs. Shopping. Decorating. Eating.
Of course, we’ve somehow managed to define eating as a “tradition” while branding over-eating as a “habit.”
“Tradition” tends to be associated with the good events in our lives, while “habit” tends to represent the bad and the ugly.
With meals, it’s the traditional family dinner. But it’s the habit of eating too much.
With sports, it’s a tradition of winning. Or a habit of losing.
With life, it’s a tradition of success. Or a habit of failure.
At the holidays, though, I think the two words tend to cross paths a little more often than we know.
For example, how many parties and events will we attend that truly are more “habitual” than “traditional” in the sense that, all in all, we’d really rather not be there.
And how many people do we buy presents for out of “habit” rather than “tradition”?
It’s no secret to most of us that the holidays bring out the best, and the worst, in our lives. Even as we’re bustling about with holiday cheer, many of us are grumbling about the demands and the pressures (self-imposed, most of the time) that are preventing us from “enjoying” the holidays.
So this holiday season, I’ve challenged myself to give my schedule a little extra thought and determine for myself whether I’m about to schedule a “tradition” or a “habit.”
That’s not to say, of course, that if we all do primarily what we want to do during the holidays, our lives and the lives of everyone we come in contact with will be significantly improved.
But if we can successfully identify and kick a few bad habits and make a little more time for the traditions – new and old – that truly bring us joy, that can’t be all bad, can it? Because if we’re truly happy, that feeling has a more significant and positive impact on our friends, family and associates than the latest, greatest gift.
As for our Sunday school’s roving supper, we finally settled on a day – one at the end of the traditional holiday season and at the beginning of the New Year.
Give me a call if sitting home on Jan. 3 is one habit you would like to break, or if a roving supper is one tradition you would like to start.
