Neighbor, Ben Franklin has some words of wisdom for you: “Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better person.”
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Your vices are your business and way too much for this space, but waging peace in the neighborhood and, thus, being a good human?
Definitely doable. Let’s talk.
Here’s an invitation to peek into, and perhaps borrow from the playbook of Tim and Paula: my good neighbors for over 20 years.
Greet the newbies. When we moved in all those years ago, Tim and Paula introduced themselves as we carried in boxes and they made us feel at home. They gave us the ins and outs of the neighborhood, shared restaurant recommendations, and told us about grocery stores in the area.
Keep it down. Our neighbors are considerate of those close by and watch their noise level. They don’t crank up the lawnmower or leaf blower at the crack of dawn or late at night. When Tim sits on his front porch swing, playing guitar and singing (he sounds just like James Taylor), it’s never when we’re trying to sleep – and it’s always a welcome mini concert.
Heads up. If Tim and Paula will be having any noisy work done, say, roofing or construction, they let us know ahead of time. If they’ll be hosting a larger celebration, they clue us in so we’ll know to expect more cars parked on the street.
Maintain your home. I often see Tim mowing the front yard and tending to his shrubs and flowerbeds. Paula frequently grabs a broom as soon as she gets home from work or errands and sweeps their front porch and walkway. They pull their trash and recycling bins to the curb the night before pickup, and promptly move them back to their hiding place when empty. Their home has true curb appeal which adds to the overall positive feel of the neighborhood.
Be mindful of your pets. A couple of years after we moved in, Tim and Paula and their daughters adopted sweet Suka, a big, friendly golden dog. We rarely heard her barking in their backyard, and she was always leashed on walks. Side note: Suka was a Houdini Dog and sometimes managed to escape their yard and come over to see us. Because we knew Suka from our dog sitting turns when they were traveling, we kept her safe until her family could retrieve her. She passed at a ripe old age a couple of years ago, having had the best possible life a dog could ask for.
Be helpful. It would take a while to list all the ways Tim and Paula have come to our aid over the years. We’ve borrowed their tall ladder—and loaned them our hedge trimmer. We split the expense of a shared fence. During cold-weather outages, they’ve offered us a warm up in front of their fireplace. We’ve shared recommendations for plumbers and mechanics. More times than I can count, they have watched our home while we’re out of town, gathering the mail, newspapers, and packages—and we’ve happily done the same for them.
Small gestures count. Tim frequently shares the bounty of his garden, leaving bags of Swiss chard or onions on our porch. When our kids were little, Paula passed along her daughters’ outgrown toys and clothes. Each holiday season, we exchange fudge and cookies and other goodies from our kitchens.
Remember that the term “neighbors” isn’t limited to just the folks next door. Think of the word in a larger sense: your block, your street, your neck of the woods, East Dallas. As you walk, run, and take the dog out for some exercise, smile and wave to others you see out and about. Better yet, stop and chat. Cultivating good relationships with those around us and learning more about them and their routines creates a safer environment for us all, an urban security concept known as “eyes on the street.”
As you get to know neighbors, consider exchanging phone numbers. Check on each other during power outages and after storms. Be especially watchful of elderly neighbors who live alone. If you haven’t seen a neighbor out and about in a while, knock on their door.
If a neighbor is sick, drop off some soup or flowers. New baby in the home? A pan of lasagna is always appreciated by the sleep-deprived parents.
If conflicts or problems arise with those who live nearby, try chatting calmly with them. They’re likely more reasonable than you assume.
How do you want your neighbors to treat you? Do the same for them. Wage war on those vices – we all have them – but wage peace with the people around you. Be a good neighbor.
