I wasn’t going to write about “GCB,” the ABC spoof of our city that premiered Sunday night, presumably in an attempt to replace “Desperate Housewives,” which is in its last season. I wasn’t going to write about it until I saw this list in OC Weekly about cities that influenced Mexican cuisine in the United States. Dallas is ranked No. 3 because of El Fenix, Fritos and frozen margaritas.
The author, Gustavo Arellano, who writes the hilarious and informative syndicated column “Ask A Mexican,” says of our city: “There are many reasons to hate Dallas — but it ain’t the food.”
Dammit, Ask a Mexican! Stop hating.
Hating Dallas is a cliche based on stereotypes from the TV show “Dallas” or the movie “Dr. T and the Women,” or maybe, sometimes, it has to do with NFL football. But that’s another story.
“GCB” costars Broadway leading lady Kristen Chenoweth, whom I adore. The historic mansions of Swiss Avenue serve as the neighborhood where the show’s main characters live and snoop on each other, “Desperate Housewives” style.
But the show itself is dangerously close to offensive. For one thing, the accents are like George W. Bush channeling Jed Clampett. The main character, Amanda, is constantly referred to as “uh-MAY-un-duh.” There is a Dallas accent, but that ain’t it.
The writing is lazy, too. In one scene, someone is “so hungry she could eat Waco.” I guess Waco is funny because it’s where the government killed those Branch Davidians? No one says they could eat Waco or Tupelo or Providence. They might say, “I’m so hungry I could eat a blue-ribbon sow,” but people don’t say they’re so hungry they could eat a city. That’s not a thing.
Waxahachie also gets a shout-out when a real-estate agent says she’s found some great little townhouses there. I get it. Waxahachie is a funny-sounding word. We’re sure they’ll reference some other town next week: “We just got bay-uck from havin’ lunch at that new place in Nacogdoches?”
“GCB” is a spoof. Maybe I’m being too sensitive about it. Is this how Italian Americans in New Jersey felt about “The Sopranos”? Once that show became a hit, many New Jersians embraced it, donning track suits, playing up their accents and pretending to be gangsters. Oh dear God. What if “GCB” becomes a hit? Thousands more blonde obnoxious reasons to hate Dallas.